September 30th, 2011 at 11:31AM
The Cereal Man, Cereal is a fucking racket.

The Cereal

Man, Cereal is a fucking racket.

41 notes #the cereal#raisin nut bran#communists
September 26th, 2011 at 3:56PM
The Moving Trucks They fuck you so hard with the moving trucks! $22.49 a day, right? It says it right there. So tell me how 2 days comes up to $144.17!?  Cause they’re fuckin me. That’s how!

The Moving Trucks

They fuck you so hard with the moving trucks! $22.49 a day, right? It says it right there. So tell me how 2 days comes up to $144.17!?  Cause they’re fuckin me. That’s how!

#budget truck rental#the moving trucks#i pissed in the gas tank so fuck them
February 24th, 2011 at 5:52PM
The Eggs The sticker says the eggs are $1.99. But the son of a bitch at the register tells me that price is for a half dozen. The container I have is actually 2 half-dozens. “Looks like one dozen to me, motherfucker!” I say to him, as I stick it in his face so he can get a better look. Then the manager comes over and its a whole thing…..   Long story short, they fuck you on the eggs.   

The Eggs

The sticker says the eggs are $1.99. But the son of a bitch at the register tells me that price is for a half dozen. The container I have is actually 2 half-dozens. “Looks like one dozen to me, motherfucker!” I say to him, as I stick it in his face so he can get a better look. Then the manager comes over and its a whole thing…..   Long story short, they fuck you on the eggs.   

514 notes #eggs#dozen#sometimes i watch falling down and jerk off
February 22nd, 2011 at 11:34PM
The Parking Enforcement I see all these protests going on in Egypt and Libya. People rioting in the streets, breaking windows, throwing rocks at the police, setting shit on fire….    Then I look around my own country.  And I can’t understand how we can sit here, day in and day out, taking it in the ass from the parking enforcement! We’re the ones that should be tearing up the streets!  Red Zones. Fire Hydrants. $2/hour meters. Fucking street sweeping. Tow away zones. Impound lots. When are we going to wake up, America!? We need to be out there busting heads! We need to be flipping their little cars over and setting them on fire. We need to get a mob together, run up on these guys and tear them apart like wild dogs! You know how in Iraq, they can’t hold down a police force cause the insurgents keep killing the new recruits and kidnapping their families and stuff? I’m not saying I condone that sort of behavior. I’m just saying that sometimes you need to put your foot down.

The Parking Enforcement

I see all these protests going on in Egypt and Libya. People rioting in the streets, breaking windows, throwing rocks at the police, setting shit on fire….    Then I look around my own country.  And I can’t understand how we can sit here, day in and day out, taking it in the ass from the parking enforcement!

We’re the ones that should be tearing up the streets!  Red Zones. Fire Hydrants. $2/hour meters. Fucking street sweeping. Tow away zones. Impound lots. When are we going to wake up, America!?

We need to be out there busting heads! We need to be flipping their little cars over and setting them on fire. We need to get a mob together, run up on these guys and tear them apart like wild dogs!

You know how in Iraq, they can’t hold down a police force cause the insurgents keep killing the new recruits and kidnapping their families and stuff? I’m not saying I condone that sort of behavior. I’m just saying that sometimes you need to put your foot down.

#meter maids,#parking tickets,#tow away zone,#impound,#parking enforcement#ladot#seriously ill go right back to jail
February 22nd, 2011 at 11:00PM
The Salad You see that??  Why do you think they built that ridge in the bottom of the salad container? It’s not for structural support, that’s for sure. They designed that container on purpose so that they can fuck you on the salad! More plastic = less salad. Don’t test me on this, salad people! Cause I’ll go right back to jail. It will be worth it.

The Salad

You see that??  Why do you think they built that ridge in the bottom of the salad container? It’s not for structural support, that’s for sure. They designed that container on purpose so that they can fuck you on the salad! More plastic = less salad. Don’t test me on this, salad people! Cause I’ll go right back to jail. It will be worth it.

#lettuce,#spring mix,#greens,#salad#i dont know how tags work
February 21st, 2011 at 10:26PM
The Car Insurance These guys fuck you worse than anyone! They fuck you with the premiums and then you’re in an accident and they don’t do anything! You pay them for nothing. But you have to because its against the law not to. And they fucking know it! Cocksucking theiving bastards. I wish cancer on every geico employee. 

The Car Insurance

These guys fuck you worse than anyone! They fuck you with the premiums and then you’re in an accident and they don’t do anything! You pay them for nothing. But you have to because its against the law not to. And they fucking know it! Cocksucking theiving bastards. I wish cancer on every geico employee. 

21 notes #geico,#deductible#bullshit#car insurance#please jesus give them cancer
February 20th, 2011 at 1:42PM
The Seventh Veil I always get fucked here. Though not in the way that I would like. $20 cover at the door. Then there’s a 2 drink minimum. $5 drinks with no booze. And of course, you have to tip a couple bucks on top of that of they get all loud about it. So just walking in sets you back $35. Now, I’m all for tipping at the stage. That’s what I came for, right? You crinkle up a couple singles and whip them at the whores. Or you lick one before you throw it and see if it sticks. It adds up but it’s a good time! The lap dances are where they really fuck you though. Starting at $40 -for 2 songs! Crazy! It wouldn’t be so bad except the girls keep coming up and asking me if I want a dance. I don’t know why I’m so popular here but seriously -a different girl comes up to me every couple minutes! I know I’m handsome but something about this place makes them swarm. Maybe its the lighting? If you’re a regular THTFY reader, you know I can be very charming as well…   So after a while one thing leads to another…    and inevitably I always seem to be able to charm my way into the private room. You know how much a private dance is???? FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS AN HOUR!!!!! Seriously, $500! And you can’t even touch! Don’t get me wrong, I’ll finish. But somehow I still feel like I’m getting ripped off. Alexa is a really nice girl though, and she really seems to like me so maybe I’m just being silly.    

The Seventh Veil

I always get fucked here. Though not in the way that I would like. $20 cover at the door. Then there’s a 2 drink minimum. $5 drinks with no booze. And of course, you have to tip a couple bucks on top of that of they get all loud about it. So just walking in sets you back $35.

Now, I’m all for tipping at the stage. That’s what I came for, right? You crinkle up a couple singles and whip them at the whores. Or you lick one before you throw it and see if it sticks. It adds up but it’s a good time!

The lap dances are where they really fuck you though. Starting at $40 -for 2 songs! Crazy! It wouldn’t be so bad except the girls keep coming up and asking me if I want a dance. I don’t know why I’m so popular here but seriously -a different girl comes up to me every couple minutes! I know I’m handsome but something about this place makes them swarm. Maybe its the lighting?

If you’re a regular THTFY reader, you know I can be very charming as well…   So after a while one thing leads to another…    and inevitably I always seem to be able to charm my way into the private room. You know how much a private dance is????

FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS AN HOUR!!!!!

Seriously, $500! And you can’t even touch! Don’t get me wrong, I’ll finish. But somehow I still feel like I’m getting ripped off. Alexa is a really nice girl though, and she really seems to like me so maybe I’m just being silly.    

#alexa st. claire,#drink minimums,#sunset strip,#cover charges#seventh veil#strippers#weird stain on my pants
February 18th, 2011 at 12:37AM
The Frozen Yogurt I guess guys like me aren’t supposed to go into Pinkberry. Should have known something was up when I saw my date and I were the only people in the place who aren’t Orientals.  Everything was fine until a few bites into my yogurt, I realize the goddamn thing is hollow! $4 for a frozen yogurt and I don’t even get a whole cup!?  I can’t believe they’re going to fuck me on the frozen yogurt! They fuck you with the price. They fuck you again when they “forget” to give you the middle of your yogurt. And then they give you a dirty look and try to make you feel guilty for not putting a dollar in the tip jar! Maybe that’s how they do things in China. But if you ask me, it’s bad enough they’re keeping 20% of my yogurt and reselling it to the next guy. You don’t hit me up for a tip on top of it! Do I look like some kind of asshole?? Go ask Robert Oppenheimer for a tip, you bastard.

The Frozen Yogurt

I guess guys like me aren’t supposed to go into Pinkberry. Should have known something was up when I saw my date and I were the only people in the place who aren’t Orientals. 

Everything was fine until a few bites into my yogurt, I realize the goddamn thing is hollow! $4 for a frozen yogurt and I don’t even get a whole cup!?  I can’t believe they’re going to fuck me on the frozen yogurt!

They fuck you with the price. They fuck you again when they “forget” to give you the middle of your yogurt. And then they give you a dirty look and try to make you feel guilty for not putting a dollar in the tip jar!

Maybe that’s how they do things in China. But if you ask me, it’s bad enough they’re keeping 20% of my yogurt and reselling it to the next guy. You don’t hit me up for a tip on top of it! Do I look like some kind of asshole??

Go ask Robert Oppenheimer for a tip, you bastard.

2 notes #racism,#pinkberry#frozen yogurt#robert oppenheimer invented the Atom Bomb
February 17th, 2011 at 12:12PM
The Light Bulbs Went light bulb shopping this morning. $4.97 for 9W’s and I needed 4 of them! You think I’m gonna let them shake me down for $20?   Well, think again my friend. Cause I went to the self checkout and only rang myself up for 3. Walked out with 4 for $15. HOW DOES IT FEEL TO GET FUCKED, HOME DEPOT!???? 

The Light Bulbs

Went light bulb shopping this morning. $4.97 for 9W’s and I needed 4 of them! You think I’m gonna let them shake me down for $20?   Well, think again my friend. Cause I went to the self checkout and only rang myself up for 3. Walked out with 4 for $15. HOW DOES IT FEEL TO GET FUCKED, HOME DEPOT!???? 

#self check out,#home depot#light bulbs#win#i steal something everytime i go to home depot#own medicine
February 16th, 2011 at 1:11PM
The ImageWorks Studio I contacted these guys about making a website for my business. They made me go back and forth with some bullshit and then they finally quoted me….   Get ready for this…. fifteen thousand dollars!   ——FIFTEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS! You believe that shit!? “$15K” he says to me. For a website. I’m on a website right now -for free! And these freaks are trying to soak me for $15k!? Can you imagine how much rock cocaine my $15k would buy them?      Motherfucking crackfiends with a web design business. Never thought I’d see the day.

The ImageWorks Studio

I contacted these guys about making a website for my business. They made me go back and forth with some bullshit and then they finally quoted me….   Get ready for this…. fifteen thousand dollars!   ——FIFTEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS!

You believe that shit!? “$15K” he says to me. For a website. I’m on a website right now -for free! And these freaks are trying to soak me for $15k!? Can you imagine how much rock cocaine my $15k would buy them?     

Motherfucking crackfiends with a web design business. Never thought I’d see the day.

2 notes #web design,#imageworks studio#website#15k#cocaine is a hell of a drug#thats how they fuck you